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I recently had cataract surgery. I kinda got the idea that I needed to do that when I kept tripping over the dogs. They objected to that rather strenuously. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I had a cataract and he replied, “Cadillac? I thought you had a Jeep.” Ah, the joys of growing old!
This surgery was an interesting experience. It was my fifth, and always before they’ve laid me out pretty good, but this one was almost fun. Well,” fun” might be a bit of a stretch.
My husband was allowed to watch the procedure from a screen set up for that purpose. He said it looked like they dynamited it and vacuumed out the pieces. I didn’t care much for his description.
From my side of the procedure (they don’t put you clear out) I had a great light show. There was a kaleidoscope of amazing colors and shapes darting all over the place. It was so entertaining I didn’t want them to stop. But they did. They got me up, fed me, and handed me over to Bob. When we stepped outside into the light the world disappeared, even though I had a “pirate patch” over that eye. “Blurry” soared up to a new level in the sunlight. It stayed that way the rest of the day, and since I wasn’t particularly friendly Bob kept his distance.
The next day was much better and then the next – well, I looked in the mirror and wondered what was wrong with my hair. My face. Sometimes I’m a little slow. I heard Bob tell someone that I was doing fine but now that I could see him I might run away. Hm-m-m-m. I looked in the mirror again… It finally dawned on me that I looked older than I thought I did and everyone knew it but me. No one said I was going to age ten years in ten minutes!
I wonder if they have a customer satisfaction guarantee. It must be their fault I look like this – I think I’ll ask for my cataract back!

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